So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
