You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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