Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love you. Go after that dick
You ruined the universe
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
