I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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