Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
