porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
