I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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