Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
