found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
