I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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