you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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