Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How's work?
Spinning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
