We're like a lot better than the average bears
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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