Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
