Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
