I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
