Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
