It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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