You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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