I wish I could punch you in the face.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
