A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
