So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
ttyl tear gas
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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