you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
