even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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