Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
