Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
