on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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