Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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