I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
