they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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