Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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