I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
