What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
