Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
