Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
