You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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