East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he shaved USA in his pubs
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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