Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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