but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
