The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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