If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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