I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
