I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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