You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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