Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
