I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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