Girls should come with a carfax report
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
