pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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