Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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