I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
