I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
