there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
